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Ostrich Pillow Light
I am a complete and utter twat. On that, I think we can agree. And for those who haven’t met me, feel free to take my word for it. I do, however, often find myself wishing it was easier to make people aware of my twattish nature because, after all, it’s a terrible toll on […]
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Spin Chill
In a message largely akin to Grumpy Cat’s “I had fun once….it was terrible”, I had a warm beer once and, well, let’s just say there was some unpleasantness and I was asked never to return to Nandos. So, it’s everyone’s best interests that I don’t succumb to the abomination that is warm beer again […]
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Ammo Can Poker Set
Now that my ten year ban from Las Vegas for counting cards is coming to an end, I think it’s high time that I begin to brush off my poker skills once again. I should, perhaps, point out that, if any Vegas casino managers are reading this, that I didn’t count cards in the conventional, […]
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Klecker Glow in the Dark Knife
Though you may not know this about me but, and don’t do any Facebook stalking of me seeking independent verification of this, I’m a mightily accomplished woodsman a la Bear Grylls and I am perfectly capable of surviving in the wilds for extended periods of time given my impeccable and ruthless hunting skills. I am, […]
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Brunton Hydrogen Reactor
I’ve been watching a lot of zombie shit recently and I’ve formed the opinion that the zombie apocalypse is probs only a few years away now and in the timeless motto of the Scouts or Cubs or one of those bunch of dicks, it’s always a good idea to “Be Prepared”. Needless to say, when […]
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You & Me Ping Pong Table
I like to drink a lot. This love of booze often leads me buying entirely impractical things that, whilst drunk, seem nothing short of essential but, when I wake up on my living room floor the next morning, look slightly more “ill-advised” than remembered. The chief complaint that most people have about my drunk purchases […]