Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction Book

When you drink as much as me, you naturally make a lot of enemies. When you drink us much as me, you are also utterly inept at fisticuffs. As a result, one needs to come up with new ways of defending oneself when one of my off-colour remarks leaves a nun or scout leader or whatever fuming.

Needless to say, I bought Sun Tzu’s Art of War which was horiffically boring and ineffectual but, given the book’s exceptional girth and weight, turned out to be an excellent projectile weapon when some knobhead swans kicked off down the lake the other day. Inadvertently chucked it in the water though so I’m in need of a new battle tact. Enter this awesome collection of Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction Books which, I assume, have been released to help boozehounds like me defend myself when we rile people and rub them up the wrong way.

This top notch book will teach you how to make the likes of catapults, trebuchets and the like and they are all crafted from common household and office goods. So, the next time the dick in accounts doesn’t put whisky in your coffee as requested, trebuchet his ass.

I have amassed quite a stockpile of kidney beans over the years so will not be short of animation.