Ron Burgundy: Let Me Off at the Top

So, I was watching the news the other day (I couldn’t find the remote) and I was bored, verging on the point of doing something drastic i.e. exercise or some shit, by the mundane nature of the newsreaders on show, one of whom I think was gently sobbing off camera about the magnitude of their dullness.

Newsreaders used to be a much more thoroughbred breed, with finely coiffeured manes and well-kept facial hair (not the cluster fuck of a beard Paxman is currently sporting). I think it’s abundantly clear that the catalyst for this higher calibre of newsreader was a certain Ron Burgundy and, as he exhibited in the excellent fly-on-the-wall documentary, Anchorman, a few years back, it wasn’t easy being a newsreader in 1970’s America. But he made it work. He made it work.

Well, I’ve come up with a manifesto for improving the standard of today’s newsreaders. It’s a simple manifesto, with just a single mandate – read this Ron Burgundy: Let Me Off at the Top Memoir. If even a single piece of advice, even if it’s just how to play the jazz flute, held within said memoir rubs off on today’s current newsreaders, then they will instantly be twice as good at their jobs. No internal shots of the book, so check out Ron in action instead:

God bless you, Ron Burgundy.