Polaris RZR XP 1000

I am a terrible driver. I mean truly, truly awful. I don’t let this discourage me though and I’m always on the lookout for vehicles that can push the boundaries of my terribleness that bit further. So far I have shown that I am equally as inept behind the controls of mini-moto, motorised go-kart, quad bike and blimp and I was going to give segways a bash until I read how the creator of the machine met his demise – I mean if he can’t even control it, I don’t hold out much hope of me being able to.

However, I have much higher hopes for this rather death-trap looking (when I’m in control, at least) Polaris RZR XP 1000 which looks like something that has been lifted straight from Mad Max. It also looks like something that I definitely shouldn’t be behind the wheel of. It’s clearly designed for use on sand dunes and in undulating forests and that but I don’t have any of that shit around where I live, so I’ll be using it to collect pizzas from Papa Johns – looks like there’s some pretty sweet pizza storage space towards the back there.

Helmets, whilst probably mandatory, are lame.