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Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction Book
When you drink as much as me, you naturally make a lot of enemies. When you drink us much as me, you are also utterly inept at fisticuffs. As a result, one needs to come up with new ways of defending oneself when one of my off-colour remarks leaves a nun or scout leader or […]
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Ron Burgundy: Let Me Off at the Top
So, I was watching the news the other day (I couldn’t find the remote) and I was bored, verging on the point of doing something drastic i.e. exercise or some shit, by the mundane nature of the newsreaders on show, one of whom I think was gently sobbing off camera about the magnitude of their […]
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Hip Hop Colouring Book
Having grown up on the mean, blood-soaked streets of the Peak District, it’s safe to say that I’m about as gangster as it gets. I ran in some pretty brutal gangs as a youth – you name it, we did it. Cow tipping, underage drinking (17), feet up on the bus, cycling on the pavement […]
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Crap I Bought on Ebay Book
I must confess that at times I mindlessly trawl the depths of eBay to what sort of stupid shit people are trying to sell and, conversely, how big an idiot market there is trying to snap this junk up and, it turns out, the answer to these questions, in respective order, is “weird, stupid shit” […]
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Gatsby Cocktail Book
If you came out of a recent showing of The Great Gatsby and thought to yourself “Well, it looked like everyone had a jolly good time back then” – you’re quite correct. But this is because Gatsby et al were completely smashed 95% of the time on fancy Prohibition era cocktails which, ironically, invariably contained […]
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Encyclopaedia of Immaturity
My own personal seven deadly sins are entirely different from the norm. I don’t give a shit about any of the conventional sins like gluttony, sloth, pride et al – mine are much more bog-standard i.e. boozing, being fat (sloth, I guess), stupidity and, most importantly in this case, immaturity. I am, and I don’t […]