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Spin Chill
In a message largely akin to Grumpy Cat’s “I had fun once….it was terrible”, I had a warm beer once and, well, let’s just say there was some unpleasantness and I was asked never to return to Nandos. So, it’s everyone’s best interests that I don’t succumb to the abomination that is warm beer again […]
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Ammo Can Poker Set
Now that my ten year ban from Las Vegas for counting cards is coming to an end, I think it’s high time that I begin to brush off my poker skills once again. I should, perhaps, point out that, if any Vegas casino managers are reading this, that I didn’t count cards in the conventional, […]
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Klecker Glow in the Dark Knife
Though you may not know this about me but, and don’t do any Facebook stalking of me seeking independent verification of this, I’m a mightily accomplished woodsman a la Bear Grylls and I am perfectly capable of surviving in the wilds for extended periods of time given my impeccable and ruthless hunting skills. I am, […]
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Sprayable Energy
I’m a lethargic fellow, prone to extensive bouts of daytime sleeping. I seldom have enough energy to partake in activities that require even the bare minimum of physical exertion and I often take to drinking my Guinness through a straw because I can’t be arsed to pick up the pint glass. I am, essentially, the […]
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Jägermeister Shotmeister
I’m not ashamed to admit that, for the most part, I utterly abhor spirits and shots thereof but will, quite happily, drink Guinness until the cows come home – often literally when I decide that, in a drunken haze, it’s a good idea to put a cow in the boot of the car. I have […]
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Zombie Cribbage
I have literally no idea what cribbage is but, after discounting “what I used to hide leftover food under on my dinner plate”, I’ve come to the unanimous conclusion that it is a game of some description. My inclination to learn about this terrible sounding concoction was at an all time low until I came […]