I like to drink a lot. This love of booze often leads me buying entirely impractical things that, whilst drunk, seem nothing short of essential but, when I wake up on my living room floor the next morning, look slightly more “ill-advised” than remembered. The chief complaint that most people have about my drunk purchases […]
Jabba the Hutt was a bit of a vindictive bastard in all honesty – he definitely wasn’t one of those “jolly” fatties like me – he was more your “throw them in the pit with that big shit-off monster” fatty. He blates wasn’t eating enough carbs like me. Carbs make everything better. Anyhow, I digress […]
In space, no one can hear your scream. A famous saying but also one that puts a bit of a negative spin on having a jolly in space, truth be told. Particularly when there are plenty of things that you can do whilst in space. You can float around and that, you can point at […]
Football is one of my passions in life and were I not a fat, lazy individual with the fitness levels of a 50-a-day smoker (I don’t smoke, my lack of fitness is as a result of my general inertia), I dare say that I’d be plying my trade in the Premier League right about now […]
I’ve heard of musical chairs but musical desks is a new one on me and I’ve spent some time and drawn some diagrams regarding the logistics of it and, yes, I feel that Musical Desks is a viable childhood game and has the potential to be as popular as its dickhead chair brother’s version of […]
James Bond is one suave bastard truth be told, what with his expert delivery of double-entendres and dapper tuxedos but, in actuality, 007 couldn’t hold a candle to me in the smoothness stakes (I wax). I regularly wow at social functions with my painfully suave persona and when I’m in a casino, forget about it! […]