If I were a vehicle, I’d probably be a stealth bomber. I’m incredibly inconspicuous, I’m painfully cool and I’m often used in convert missions to spy on other countries and that. At least, I would be a stealth bomber were it not for the fact that I discovered Guinness and became a noisy, uncoordinated, deeply conspicuous mess. […]
I think that it is more than fair to say that I’m lacking in almost every conceivable character trait required to be a pilot. I’m a boozehound, I lack balance, depth-perception, patience, concentration, mathmatical skills, calmness, a posh voice, a dry, witty sense of humour and the ability to fathom how big bits of metal […]
I think it’s fair to say that I’m more of a drinker than a fighter and the last time I became embroiled in fisticuffs, it involved some no-good dandy stealing a Guinness hat from me that I was wearing on St Patrick’s Day. Given the fact that I’m terrible in the arena of pugilism, I […]
I know that Lord of the Rings happened a million years ago or on some other planet or some shit but I’m afraid to say, that we may well have our very own, modern version of that much told tale on our hands due to this rather spiffing Ring Clock. I don’t think it’s too […]
After recently returning from Egypt with a brand spanking new Breitling watch in my back pocket (still can’t believe that Egyptian sold it me for £20 – what a mug) I’ve got a new found love of wristwatches. Before I owned a watch, I used to tell the time by judging the sun’s position in […]
Now, I’m not going to pretend I know the first thing about cars because I, unequivocally, do not. My first car got scrapped following an MOT for being unroadworthy and I recently sold my second car after reversing it through a hedge and knocking the wing-mirror off – I couldn’t look at it the same […]