50 Foot Snowball Gun

I usually spend most snowball fights gently sobbing behind a tree, rocking slowly back and forth and waiting for the “madness to end” but those days are firmly behind me now that I plan to come equipped to the next battle royale with this devastating 50 Foot Snowball Gun. That will teach those unruly nine year olds a lesson. Don’t mess with the big dog. Now, there will invariably be those who will bang on about a fair fight and all that but they can do one because they’ve blatantly never been on the receiving end of a beating from a bunch of evil reprobates. This is where the tides will turn and I become synonymous with dishing out snow-bashings to all and sundry. This instrument of war is capable of packing three snowballs at once and will launch them with unerring accuracy at your foes (shooting them in the back tends to work best).

So, the nine year olds turned up with this. There were more tears on my part :(