Dynamite Sausage

dynamite sausage

There are occasions when having eaten a particularly stodgy meal that it weighs very heavily upon me and I often get asked such questions as “When’s it due?” when I’m walking down the street and, perhaps more embarrassingly, people give up their seat for me on the train. So, on those occasions when I’ve gorged on pasta, bread and cake i.e. every day, I need something to go to work on my bloated innards.

Well, permit me to introduce this expertly branded Dynamite Sausage which German engineers used to use to excavate mines back in the day.* Today, however, because of bloody health and safety regulations, miners are no longer allowed to use the Dynamite Sausage to blow up a shit-tonne of solid rock and, lamentably, we have to eat them instead. Given their explosive nature, they do a stellar job of clearing space on those occasions when your eyes are bigger than your stomach but then the waiter subsequently introduces you to a chocolate fudge cake that you must have – no problem – just slope off somewhere and sneak a bit of Dynamite Sausage (not in a gay way) and – BOOM – you’ve just cleared room for the cake. Win-win.

* They didn’t.

Word of warning though – Dynamite Sausage are difficult to fit into a wallet. And don’t even get me started on the reasons you shouldn’t eat it on a plane.


This may looked photoshopped but this is a very real danger for those who love a bit of Dynamite Sausage.

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