Espresso Veloce V12 Coffee Machine


Without wishing to sound sexist, but sounding it nonetheless, coffee is a manly pursuit and I think few things prove this more admirably than this rather fetching Espresso Veloce V12 Coffee Machine which looks like it could, potentially, take you back to the future if you strap it to the roof of your Vauxhall Nova but also get you dangerously wired on copious amounts of coffee through its rather generous number of distributors. The moment an espresso coffee hits your lips (in much the same way as Frank the Tank in Old School) that’s it, game over. You can no longer be held responsible for your actions. Just some of the indiscretions that have unfolded after I’ve OD’d on espresso coffee include:

  • Streaking
  • Rampaging
  • Uncontrollable Crying
  • Suspected Heart Attack (leading to a hospital hostage taking situation – doctors weren’t taking my ailment seriously)
  • Tree Climbing / Squirrel Chasing
  • Hallucinations / Night Terrors

So, the reasoning behind my love of a good espresso is clear. It is basically banter juice.

Espresso machine

Downed all four. Woke up a week later with a hibernating bear. Said bear was not amused.

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