The Exbury Egg

Exbury Egg

I think Noah was on to a good thing with his whole Ark experiment. Animals are funny as fuck at the best of times. But you add water into the mix, it’s pure comedy gold. I dare say, but can’t confirm it, that it was covered in the Bible, that Noah had a reet good laugh watching all those animals pissing about in the water and that. I remember watching my dog larking about in the water and she was happy as a pig in shit so when you multiply the water levels to global flood proportions, I smell a sit-com. Well, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands by purchasing one of these amazing looking vessels that goes by the name of The Exbury Egg. There are, of course, a few obstacles to negotiate in order to facilitate my own Leo’s Ark dream but these are mere technicalities. Namely, I need to get a shit-tonne of animals from somewhere (the zoo I asked didn’t my share my “vision” – gave me a penguin as a goodwill gesture though. He’s pretty awesome). I think, given that I live in England and it rains pretty much 24/7, I don’t need to worry about the water aspect of Leo’s Ark. So, basically once the animals I ordered off the internet (surprisingly easy) arrive, I just need to source a load of Guinness and some trail mix and we’ve got ourselves an animal party.

Update: I got a splinter and cancelled the whole thing.


Exbury Egg Interior

Word of warning, despite their friendly appearance, koalas are fucking massive hammock hogs. Twats.

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