FitBit Scales

FitBit Scales

I’m pretty fat nowadays and I always like to be reminded about my girth as accurately as possible and these eye-catching FitBit Scales will be perfect for depressing me this Christmas. Everybody loves technology that gives you bad news and few pieces will be responsible for delivering more crushing blows than this little beauty. It gives you your weight in numerical form and also has 5 pre-set responses determined by the weight you’re tipping the scales at. A few of these include:

  • You’re so fat you’ve got your own gravitational pull…
  • You’re so fat you’re gonna get stuck when you jump in the air, sucka
  • You’re so fat you need to iron your clothes on the pavement

Lamentably, the FitBit Scales have imparted each of these pieces of news to me. It doesn’t like to sugarcoat things so if you’re after a motivational set of scales, this isn’t the one for you.


You go, girl! Also, interesting weighing technique. Maybe that’s why I’m so fat. I’m not weighing myself properly. Yes, that must be it.

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