In the words of the legendary, I want to say Keith, from the Prodigy, I am a firestarter, a twisted firestarter (though for legality reasons, I am inclined to point out not in an arson sort of way). I just love bonfires and that. What I don’t like about fires (besides the obvious of them being a bit hot and that) is the shitty matches which I’m invariably forced to use in order to get the ball rolling. The lifeless, methodical and, dare I say, dickhead, matches that I normally use to start my bonfires (for marshmellows) leave me with a hollow, empty feeling inside and I have no qualms whatsoever about tossing them aside when they’ve served their function. Well, imagine my delight / confliction when I came across these brilliant Kokeshi Matches which have much more personality than the ones that I’m typically used to. Needless to say, they still won’t work in the rain and that but look at them – they’ve got little faces! They say if you murder someone, you’re burdened by their presence in the afterlife as it weighs upon your soul (they don’t say this, it’s something like this but I’m too lazy to look it up) which is why I save my murdering for these little match chaps. They hardly weigh a thing. And they always go out in a blaze of glory. Witty stuff indeed.
Given the endangered nature of pandas, surely I shouldn’t be lighting my bonfires with them.