Marc Newson Jet Pack

I’ve got a few plans that my stupid legs and their gravity obeying ways just won’t facilitate – some of said plans include shouting in squirrels ears to wake them up in the morning, capturing live birds for my idea for a Broadway show (Hint: It’s Angry Birds: The Musical – the preview shows have not gone over too well, unfortunately – bit messy) and, last but not least, hoovering over traffic, yelling abuse and that. Well, these noble objectives need remain in my “pipe-dream” brain segment any longer courtesy of the obscenely excellent Marc Newson Jet Pack above. Needless to say, this device will unquestionably be “single-use” in my case given the fact that I can pilot neither a car nor a bike without crashing it into something – in my car’s case, I crashed into my office (at approximately 3-4MPH) and on the bike, the things I’ve crashed into are too numerous to list. Anyhow, I’ve given the instruction pamphlet a skim read and I’m firing up this bad boy as we speak.

UPDATE: During the maiden voyage, a squirrel wound up in the jet engine, causing me to ditch in the Atlantic. Coast guard were maaaaaaaaaad at having to rescue me again.

Got propositioned by a bee when I was faffing about in the sky.