Nest Boat & Mattress


NEST Air Mattress and BoatI’m one of those people who likes the idea of exercise but I don’t like getting all tired and that. This is, of course, problematic because the vast majority of sporting endeavours require some form of physical exertion and, to not put too fine a point on it, I invariably pass out or wheeze like an asthmatic chain-smoker when I engage in any form of anaerobic exercise that exceeds my cut off point of ten seconds. With this in mind, I’ve always been on the lookout for a sport that allows me to embrace my desire to get fit without having to actually move my limbs and get tired and that. Well, I think I may just have hit the jackpot with this brilliant Nest Boat & Mattress which will allow me to be all like “Yeah, I’m off down the river for a session on the boat….” when in fact I’ll be asleep on the pond in the back garden. But, as it’s got the good grace, to be called a “Boat”, I can pigeonhole it under the umbrella of exercise. And call myself a Captain. When I inevitably pop my boat mattress with my beer bottle opener, I can use all the ropes and that to perform a daring escape from the choppy waters. Or get entangled in them and drown.

nest mattress

That, my friends, is exactly my sort of exercise. The drunken slob.

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