My Pet Ghost
So, I was on Mastermind the other day (not sure whether this terrible quiz show has spanned the Atlantic yet) and my specialist subjects was ghosts. As there is no cash prize and you’re merely playing for the “coveted” Mastermind trophy, I didn’t exactly go overboard on the revision and preparation for my appearance on the show. Truth be told, I merely watched Ghostbusters I & II on a continuous loop for 48 hours straight (which some people may consider going overboard, I guess). When the only ghost question that I was qualified to answer (“What colour is Ghostbuster’s Slimer?“) didn’t come up and got the first 15 questions wrong, there were audible murmurs of discontent from the crowd. Little did they realise, however, that I was playing them for suckers and hustling their ass because I had a secret weapon up my sleeve – namely, My Pet Ghost. I’ve had this little chap as my sidekick since I was eight or so and, safe to say, we’ve been on a lot of escapades together. Well, Dipshit (he wasn’t happy with the name when I first bestowed it upon him but he loves it now) was my ace in the hole on Mastermind and hovered around whispering all the answers to me in Round 2 and, much to my delight and global acclaim, I walked away with the Mastermind trophy and Dipshit bagged himself a couple of Mastermind groupies.
Oh yeah, I keep Dipshit in a bottle. Don’t call the Federales on me. He bloody loves it in there.