Rhino Shield

rhino shield

I remember, back in the day, when I could play Snake on my indestructible Nokia mobile phone one minute whilst shouting “Oi, catch” to my brother as I toss it to him from the top of a tree or some shit, only to see it bounce, utterly unscathed, from the ground like a proper tough bastard when he fails to catch it.

Fast forward 15 years (where I’m no longer allowed to climb trees on account of my abundant weight) and I now have a smartphone which is positively looking for any excuse to smash itself to smithereens. Let alone tossing it from tree tops, I take every necessary precaution when doing something as simple as passing it to a friend in the pub across the table i.e

Friend: Pass us your phone, Leo, you handsome bastard, I want to look at the footy scores….

Me: OK, my good man, clear the table of any pork scratching or peanut detritus and I’ll slide it carefully across the table to you…

Friend: What?

Me: Cracked my screen on an errant McCoy last time. Not making that mistake again.

Anyway, long story short, what I’m trying to say is you need a tough mofo to protect your wimp of a smartphone nowadays – and this awesome Rhino Shield iPhone Protector will definitely do the trick. The lobbed it in with a load of horny rhinos or some shit and it came out without a scratch on it.


I hope one of those layers of protection is “piss” – because I’m rather prone to dropping my phone in the urinal.

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