My toaster and I are in somewhat of an abusive relationship and the atmosphere whenever I enter the kitchen is that of a begrudging and uneasy alliance. The reason for this bad blood between the toaster and I is all too clear. Namely, that I’m a complete dick, both in and out of the kitchen, and it is little wonder that the toaster is of the opinion that I treat with disdain and a lack of respect. I have put plenty of things in the toaster that have no business being in there such as Nutella, cheese, beans, knives, my fingers, crisps, croissants, a baguette (resulting in a new toaster), mac ‘n’ cheese and various other items which, truth be told, probably shouldn’t have been in there. Needless to say, the end result of these Heston Blumenthal style experiments were food poisioning, electrocution and, perhaps most importantly in this context, a horribly messy toaster. With this in mind, I’ve decided to stop subjecting my machine to unprotected toasting and will, in the future, use protection in the form of the brilliantly conceived Toastabags pictured above. No longer will I spend hours on end trying to exfiltrate whatever retarded ingredient I put in the toaster in the first place because these bags will be doing all the dirty work for me. Plus, they’re edible.*

* They’re not edible. Unless you eat bags.

Toastabag close

A brown paper bag has multiple uses away from the arena of toast. Yes, I’m talking about drinking in the park.

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