Zombie Experience Day

To be perfectly honest, I’d be a goner in a zombie apocalypse. I know from having watched 28 Days Later, The Walking Dead and World War Z that zombies are not the most reasonable or level-headed bunch and, far from all that shuffling around slowly bollocks, they are actually pretty fleet of foot. This, of course, doesn’t bode too well for me insomuch as I’m a fat, lazy northerner with a heavy dependence upon Guinness to function and who will, in all likelihood, probably answer the door to the zombies thinking that they want a cup of sugar or some shit. Which just goes to show what a wonderful, neighbourly soul I am even in the face of a devastating apocalypse.

With this in mind, I think that preparation will be the key to my survival during the inevitable and impending zombie uprising which I’m putting a tentative timescale of two to three years upon. Said preparations will take the form of stock-piling plenty of Guinness and trail-mix, buying the Parks & Recreation boxset (I think Ron Swanson’s sagely words will help during any potential zombie attack) and, perhaps most importantly of all, I will be heading on one of these awesome / terrifying* looking Zombie Experience Days by Buyagift.

* It won’t be terrifying for me. I don’t get scared when drunk. I gets unconscious.

This top-notch Zombie Day Experience will take place in an abandoned shopping mall (I hate shopping with no zombies, so I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t head down the shops during a zombie apocalypse) and will see you pit wits against a horde of zombies as they surround you and your fellow survivors. What they do should one of the zombies actually catch you is anyone’s guess. In the interests of authenticity, I’m hoping the answer to that question is – eat you.

Zombies love a bit of Metallica.