Google Glass

Google Glass

I was lucky enough to be born with 20/20 vision (self-diagnosed) and my hawk-like peepers have meant that I’ve never had the requirement for glasses. Something made all the more remarkable considering how much I’ve drunk in the last 30 years (actually, I didn’t drink at birth, so scratch that) and the fact that I’m an exceptionally clumsy fellow prone to walking into sticks and doors and that much to the detriment of my eyes. Well, turns out that it has paid to wait until now to let my eyes deteriorate because there’s finally a pair of glasses that I consider worthy of draping upon my chiseled features – namely that of the much-hyped but brazenly awesome Google Glass (Point to Note: I’m not misspelling “glasses”, Google have, somewhat inexplicably, opted for the singular)¬†above. It goes without saying that I live such an action-packed lifestyle that there will be so many things to record on these fantastically advanced glasses from the creators of the internet, Google (don’t let those creationists have you believe that it was Tim Berners Lee that birthed the web) – just some of the high octane action I expect to capture when I don the Google Glass ¬†for the first time include:

  • Dodging dog shit on the pavement as I cycle to the train station
  • A horrifically poor train service that offers about 100 seats for a million commuters
  • Rain (living in the UK)
  • Angry people on the street trying to accost me and pilfer my awesome eyewear
  • Paramedics asking me “Why did you fall off the kerb, dipshit?” and me sheepishly answering “I was trying to send a text on my glasses”.
  • A mental asylum (see above)

Google Glass Bending

Luckily, Google took my request for “bendy shit” in their glasses seriously. Yes, I was on the design panel for Google Glass, no big deal. *

* I was not.

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