Soft City T-Shirts

I remember reading or someone telling me or seeing it on television or dreaming it, that someone once said “Be all you can be…” and this is a message that I certainly took to heart (regardless of the fact I can’t remember having read, heard, seen or dreamt it). Now, this slogan, needless to say is probably supposed to have positive connotations about striving to achieve your objectives and becoming the best person you can possibly be. I, however, chose to read this mantra in an entirely different manner and see it as a caveat for giving up and being a slovenly, lazy and drunken individual who is, in actuality, quite content to sit around in my pants, watching Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women (a British talkshow, not a pornography – just letting our US based readers know I’m not a pervert).

However, such is the level of annoyance that my laxidazical approach to life typically provokes in others, people are always endeavouring to improve me as a human but I think this is perhaps because I don’t make it quite clear that I already am all I can be. With this in mind, I plan to cram my overweight frame into one of these utterly awesome BE T-Shirts from Soft City because I think it should make quite clear that I have peaked already and any attempts to remould me into a man who is physically fit, listens, doesn’t drink, isn’t an immature nobhead, isn’t lazy…..(the list could go on extensively, lamentably), are doomed to fall on deaf ears. I’ll obviously need to make a few minor alterations to this top notch T-shirt – mainly, adding a question mark after the “BE” and adding “I already am…” in a smaller font below. Hopefully it won’t detract from the visual appeal of the tee too desparately.

I intend to wear this one when I’m “on one” i.e. a Guinness-fuelled bender.