Stash Waterproof Shorts

Stash Waterproof Shorts

It’s not something that I’m proud of but there’s no escaping the fact that I am a deeply stupid individual. I do stupid shit more often than would seem feasible and this usually results from a lack of forethought and a complete absence of common sense on my part. I love a good swim me (I am, of course, referring to sitting on an inflatable dolphin with a can of Guinness) but those dolphins are slippery buggers and I spend a good deal of my time in the water desperately trying to reach my can of Guinness before any spills. Needless to say, in my childlike enthusiasm to get into the water, I neglect entirely to prepare myself for getting wet and will invariably delve in with numerous expensive pieces of technology in my pockets (Tamogotchi included) and loads of cash and that (I genuinely can’t remember the last time I carried cash around). But anyway, what I’m saying is that I’ve long strived for an item of clothing that negates having to faff about before I get in the water and I’ve found exactly that with these brilliant Stash Waterproof Shorts which have an Alien style airlock that will make sure that you don’t ruin all the shit that you’ve got in your pocket when you go for a dip.

Update: I learned the “Lefty loosey, righty tighty” mantra too late. My Tamogotchi drowned :'(

stash shorts

I overloaded my Stash Shorts and had to be plucked from the bottom of the pool by the lifeguard when I sank in record time.

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