Chalkboard Coffee Table

chalk tableStrictly speaking, chalk and I shouldn’t be left unsupervised in the same room together because the end result is very rarely positive. I can’t recall a time when I’ve had an opportunity to prove my maturity with a stick of chalk and a chalkboard that I haven’t ended up drawing a penis and other graphic and inappropriate doodles aplenty. I think it is, perhaps, hardwired into knobheads like me to draw a penis whenever the opportunity presents itself i.e. literally any time I have an implement for drawing and a modicum of space into which a drawing of a penis can be shoe-horned. So, basically, my therapist (Tobias Funke) has decided that I need to tackle my inappropriate behaviour with chalk head on and seems to think that a “too much of a good thing” approach will be the best fit for a man-child like me. Ergo, I will be investing in one of these excellent Chalkboard Coffee Tables in the hope it will get it all out of my system and I will experience what is known in the medical profession as “Penis Drawing Burnout” or PDB, if you’d prefer.

Update: So, I’m three weeks in and I’m still going strong with my penis drawing. And we are no longer accepting visitors to our flat due to the, frankly obscene, nature of our coffee table.

tableIt may look like a tree but it is, in fact, an elaborately drawn penis.

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