Illuminating Coffee Table

illuminating coffee table

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve tried to put my drink down on the coffee table only to miss by a quite sizable distance – to then hear the unmistakable thud of Guinness intermingling with carpet. If, in the rather unlikely event that my landlady is reading this, I’ve taken artistic license in this post so rest assured that I haven’t spilled Guinness on your beautiful, beautiful carpets. That being said, it never hurts to lessen the chances of repeating Guinness Gate of ’08 which resulted in me being evicted from my last flat, so I’ve decided to invest in the somewhat mesmerising Illuminating Coffee Table from Suck above because it will act like a beacon to any errant glasses that I intend to put down whilst watching my TV staples of Homes Under the Hammer, Deal or No Deal and Bargain Hunt. Crafted from stainless steel and reinforced glass and capable of lighting both above (for guiding glasses) and below (for CSI style investigations), this awesome table will definitely get the 70’s discos vibe I’ve been hankering after for my flat on the right track.

Union Jack Coffee Table

For the patriotic amongst you, there is a Union Jack variety. Careful where you put it though i.e. not to close to a window because I had Batman round the other day – thought it was the Bat Signal. When I said it looks nothing like a bat he explained that, being a bat, he has great hearing but shit eyesight. Then I ask him how Robin was and that. We were having a nice time till he dropped a Guinness on my carpet.

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