Deep Space Watch


If there’s one thing that the Alien movie taught me (other than think you shouldn’t watch Alien when you’re 8) it was that, in space, nobody can hear you scream. Well, as it transpires, it’s not just a lack of vocal capacity that is an issue in the deepest, darkest realms of space because if this brilliant Deep Space Watch by Vianney Halter is anything to go by, then nobody can tell the time either. Whilst there is no denying that this bonkers looking timepiece looks amazing, I’m pretty sure that if Hans Solo were wearing one the Ewoks would have mugged the shit out of him and had it on eBay within the hour he would have been well late to the Princess Leah rescue mission because he would have had no idea of the time and, in an endeavour to maintain his aloof, cool exterior wouldn’t have let on that he couldn’t read his Vianney Halter Deep Space watch either. This would probably have led to Skywalker not finding out Vader was his dad, Leah marrying Chewbacca and Jabba the Hut completing his Weight Watchers routine and becoming Jabba the Bit Fat (Spoilers – wait, was I supposed to put that first)? So, basically what I’m saying is be careful what timepiece you choose to wear because should you choose the wrong one, it could dire, intergalactic consequences.

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Seeing as though one of these bad boys will set you back about £150,000, I’m going to see if Bobba Fett can get me a knock-off.

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